Six Man Utd flops

ScoreLive September 2, 2024 0

Manchester United dominate the worst XI of the Premier League weekend after their awful result at home to Liverpool on Sunday. Arsenal’s Declan Rice also earns a place after his controversial red card against Brighton.

This team is based on ratings from WhoScored. Any issues? Take it up with them. Cheers.

GK: Andre Onana (Manchester United) – 5.26
Onana is the first of six Man Utd inclusions after a miserable result and performance against arch-rivals Liverpool on Sunday. He actually conceded four on the day but was let off by a Mo Salah offside when Trent Alexander-Arnold thought he gave the Reds the lead.

Can you point blame at Onana for any of the goals? Probably not. But also probably if you want to be anal. He was nowhere near Diaz’s opener and was beaten at his side for the other two goals. The only one we are maybe a little disappointed with is the third. Outstanding finish from Salah, but Onana left a colossal gap for the Egyptian to find.

Digging more into the algorithm, the former Ajax goalkeeper misplaced 10 passes and didn’t make a single save or high claim. Not ideal.

MORE ON MANCHESTER UNITED 0-3 LIVERPOOL
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👉 16 Conclusions on Man Utd 0-3 Liverpool: Ten Hag sack, great Gravenberch, Casemiro done, ‘unprofessional’ Szob

CB: Jan Bednarek (Southampton) – 5.38
An awful Southampton debut for Aaron Ramsdale was not helped by each of his centre-backs having an error leading to a goal. Yep, all three centre-backs got in on the act. The one whose blushes have been saved is Taylor Harwood-Bellis, who was slightly better than the third of our defenders.

This playing out of the back malarkey is really shooting Southampton in the foot. It’s all very naive and is costing Russell Martin points and probably eventually his job. In a completely shambolic attempt to play through the Brentford press, Bednarek’s awful attempted pass to Jack Stephens was collected by Yoane Wissa and before you knew it, Bryan Mbeumo was slotting the ball past Ramsdale to make it 2-0.

CB: Jack Stephens (Southampton) – 4.88
Stephens’ role in Brentford’s second saw him receive the cursed ‘error leading to goal’ statistic. He got under Bednarek’s feet and certainly played his part in losing possession. It was completely shambolic. Southampton’s start to the season has been pretty shambolic, in truth. The harsh reality is that they are not good enough to be playing this way. Will someone please go and ring Sam Allardyce before it’s too late?

CB: Lisandro Martinez (Manchester United) – 5.44
Back to Man Utd’s defeat to Liverpool we go. Martinez and his latest centre-back partner, Matthijs de Ligt, both had a dismal rating and received yellow cards.

Steady’s 16 Conclusions has a lovely bit about Martinez, who was targeted by the Liverpool attack and was nowhere to be seen for the Reds’ second of the afternoon. His rating is deserved.

CM: Declan Rice (Arsenal) – 5.06
Rice was silly for his lunging challenge on Joel Veltman to receive a first yellow card against Brighton and he was silly for tapping the ball away after giving away a free-kick when already in Chris Kavanagh’s book. He has acknowledged his foolishness and vowed not to do it again. He probably will…if it’s a different referee.

Where Arsenal fans feel unjust is the fact they are on the wrong end of a decision we can’t remember seeing before and probably won’t see again. ‘Delaying the restart’ is one of the least enforced rules in football. It was literally ignored by Kavanagh when Joao Pedro booted the ball 40 yards towards David Raya’s goal after running the ball out for a throw-in. And obviously, because Arsenal fans are mental, they found a clip of Rice delaying an Arsenal restart during his West Ham days, right under Kavanagh’s (the same referee!) nose, which he ignored. You can tell Arsenal fans to ‘cry more’ all you want; you’d be crying if it was your team.

Anyway, that red card had quite the impact on his match rating on WhoScored. Who’d have thought?

CM: Casemiro (Manchester United) – 5.11
Red cards are frowned upon by the algorithm and so are errors leading to goals and being completely and utterly sh*t. Casemiro’s role in Liverpool’s opener at Old Trafford doesn’t begin to cover the ghastly 45 minutes he spent on the pitch. Bloody hell, he was awful. Bad enough to be replaced by Toby Collyer at half time.

What a career Casemiro has had but the guy is finito. The Saudi Arabian transfer window is still open, lads. Just letting you know.

CM: Kobbie Mainoo (Manchester United) – 5.27
We kind of feel sorry for Mainoo. Playing next to Casemiro must be soul destroying.

RW: Alejandro Garnacho (Manchester United) – 6.05
Didn’t complete any of his three dribbles, had zero shots, and was dispossessed once. It was a tough afternoon for young Garnacho.

LW: Pedro Neto (Chelsea) – 6.05
Indeed, Chelsea played this weekend. And yes, a 1-1 draw at home to Crystal Palace really is insignificant news these days. If this was Manchester City, Arsenal or Liverpool, we would be shocked. Hell, if it was Man Utd it would be big news, mainly because it’s Man Utd. This is Chelsea’s level now. Great result, lads.

Neto could not stamp his authority on his first Blues start in the Premier League. He lasted under an hour and was shown a yellow card in the eighth minute. Completing one of three attempted dribbles and failing to register a single shot with a 33-year-old Nathaniel Clyne defending you is a bit bleak. No offence, Nathaniel.

ST: Joshua Zirkzee (Manchester United) – 5.44
Zirkzee had a catastrophic day in front of goal for Man Utd on Sunday. He drew zero fouls, committed two of them, lost possession 12 times, had zero key passes, missed two big chances and had an expected goals of 0.88. It was a very disheartening performance but not one that will be focused on. The young Dutchman can thank Casemiro and a couple of other useless team-mates for that.

ST: Evanilson (Bournemouth) – 5.70
It has been a difficult start for Evanlison, who has the big job of filling Dominic Solanke’s boots. The Brazilian’s only shot against Everton was blocked, he didn’t win any aerial duels, was dispossessed twice, committed one foul, and was offside once.

Everton were thriving and on their way to three succulent points. Evanilson was hooked eight minutes after the Toffees’ second of the game and as you are aware, Bournemouth won 3-2. His replacement, Luis Sinisterra, scored and assisted in stoppage time. Gulp.

On a side note, it is disappointing and surprising that there are no Everton players here. They did play well for 87 minutes, to be fair…